Barbara Ashton
Let's face it. With conflict being the number one cause of absenteeism, turnover and lost productivity, we could all stand to be a little happier in our workplace.
Conflict is inevitable, normal and natural in any workplace that employs a group of people, arising out of unmet expectations and differences in values, opinions and ideas around what needs to be done and how it gets done. And well, some people are just plain easier to get along with than others.
Unfortunately, there is a tendency by too many owners and managers to stick their head in the sand, letting others ‘work things out’, or simply waiting for the passage of time to ease hurt feelings. This results in employees burying wounds, nurturing undealt with resentments, which results in highly toxic passive-aggressive behavior.
While a positive resolution is always the ultimate goal in resolving conflict, it doesn’t always happen as quickly as we’d like it to. Having a structured conflict prevention and resolution program in place will go a long ways towards putting your workplace madness to bed, once and for all.
How to Quickly Resolve Your Workplace Conflict
The outfall of conflict-driven stress resulting in resignations, absenteeism and reduced productivity leads the list of causes for failed business. This makes conflict management absolutely critical. Use these tips to move your conflict towards successful closure.
1. Don’t Procrastinate
Resolving conflicts often means meeting them head on and not letting sore feelings linger.
2. What's In It For Me
'WIFM' is the most popular radio station for good reason. Tell the other person why you want to resolve the conflict and give them reasons that demonstrate there is clear benefit for them to work things out with you.
3. Stand in Your Shoes
Clearly articulate your understanding of the causes of the conflict and then admit your part in it.
4. Eat a Little Crow
Although the very prospect of it may freeze you in your tracks, studies have proven that being humble and showing vulnerability actually doesn’t kill you.
5. Accept Your Differences
Relationships break down in the workplace primarily due to unmet expectations, generally caused by miscommunication. Accept that there really is no right or wrong, just different.
6. Don’t Assume
Propose ideas and outline behavioural changes that you would like to see to resolve the conflict. Define what you feel are acceptable behaviours.
7. Don’t Hit Send
Deal with the other person face to face or, if not possible, on the phone. Email and other forms of written communication fall prey to having the 'tone' being dangerously misinterpreted.
8. Stick to the Issues
Big ears and a small mouth will help you stay on task and resist bringing in outside issues, especially when emotions are running high.
9. Look for the Cause
Often unacceptable behaviours - chronic tardiness, absenteeism, inattention and errors- are symptoms of an underlying chronic issue (addiction) or personal issue (jealousy around favoritism). Empathy and sincerity go a long way here.
10. Choose the Hill You Want to Die On
Stop and think things through before storming into your colleague’s office. Is it really that important?
11. Call a Time Out
Emotions often interfere with arriving at a productive resolution. If things are heating up, call a time-out and set a date to resume.
12. See Conflict as Opportunity
I learn so much talking with candidates about how they handle conflict in their workplace. When conflict is poorly handled it can tear down a relationship, but when handled with respect and integrity, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people